Friday, August 28, 2009

Missing & Presumed Dead

Due to blogging mood shifts, I've barely updated. I'm an extremist, I guess; one moment updating everyday and the next moment, fingers don't tap the keys.

Well, the week before holidays could've been considered as a wreck week. Besides getting very colourful exam results, I tasted a bitter pill of ACS.

My badminton racquet was stolen during the closed tournament. It wasn't any racquet. It was my first personal racquet from my dad since I stepped into court 4 years ago. It was a bronze Finnex Nano Titanium 630, made of titanium graphite and HM graphite, weighing a mere 82g. I asked Sean where did this new racquet came from and he said he went with Dad to stadium and bumped into Lin Dan. Of course, I didn't swallow this unbelievable statement. Eventually, I realised it was a gift for my birthday and I was delighted after realising it was my OWN. It could tell it wasn't cheap, so, for Dad to spend such money, I took it as a form of encouragement from him to train hard and ace tournaments.

I used it for every tournament I was in. I won, I lost. But the racquet remained my prized possession and I took great care of it, making sure the grip wasn't slippery and checking the guard. I trained hard with it. The sound of the frame slicing through the air and the sound of the shuttle hit by the sweet spot were music to my ears. However, after I broke the strings once due to high tension, the remaining tension in the broken strings pulled its frame inwards, resulting in a crack in the frame. I was pretty upset, but it seemed like it was nicer to use after the formation of the crack.

But, now, my love affair has ended as my Finnex is screaming "Help me!" in a new (unrightful) owner's badminton bag.

I believe it was stolen while I was umpiring a women's singles match. Halfway through, I saw a quick flash, like a vision, of my racquet lying atop my bag. There was a nagging feeling that I should go and check on my racquet. Although I pushed it aside, the feeling persisted. But I didn't want to leave my job halfway so, I ignored it. And surprise, surprise, the racquet is gone.

The MYC badminton tourney was my first without my Finnex. It was.. different.

I miss that loud "pow!" when i execute a smash and the soft and delicate "ping" while playing at the net. Wherever you are, my Finnex, come running back to me or just crack your head so the evil new owner will never enjoy your sweet strokes!

When I Go Down

I'll tell you flat out
It hurts so much to think of this
So from my thoughts I will exclude
The very thing that
I hate more than everything is
The way I'm powerless
To dictate my own moods

I've thrown away
So many things that could've been much more
And I just pray
My problems go away if they're ignored
But that's not the way it works
No that's not the way it works

When I go down
I go down hard
And I take everything I've learned
And teach myself some disregard
When I go down
It hurts to hit the bottom
And of the things that got me there
I think, if only I had fought them

If and when I can
Clear myself of this clouded mind
I'll watch myself settle down
Into a place where
Peace can search me out and find
That I'm so ready to be found

I've thrown away
The hope I had in friendships
I've thrown away
So many things that could have been much more
I've thrown away
The secret to find an end to this
And I just pray
My problems go away if they're ignored
But that's not the way it works
No that's not the way it works

Any control I thought I had just slips right through my hands
While my ever-present conscience shakes its head and reprimands me
Reprimands me
Then and there
I confess
I'll blame all this on my selfishness
Yet you love me
And that consumes me
And I'll stand up again
And do so willingly

You give me hope, and hope it gives me life
You touch my heavy heart, and when you do you make it light
As I exhale I hear your voice
And I answer you, though I hardly make a noise
And from my lips the words I choose to say
Seem pathetic, but it's fallen man's praise
Because I love you
Oh God, I love you
And life is now worth living
If only because of you
And when they say that I'm dead and gone
It won't be further from the truth

When I go down
I lift my eyes to you
I won't look very far
Cause you'll be there
With open arms
To lift me up again
To lift me up again

When I Go Down
Relient K

To know that every tear I cry is precious in His eyes gives me comfort.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Self-Directed Anger

I wanted to put a bullet into my brain today.

Years of struggling with mathematics and yet I see no improvement. The ghosts of my past experiences with this devilish subject has come back to haunt me once again and this time, somehow it feels like the are here to stay. Private tutoring just for PMR, two Additional Mathematics tuitions. What next? Be gone, creatures of darkness!

Sympathy? No, I don't need any of it. Have you actually experienced so many failures before that you can count your meagre passes with fingers of a hand and still have fingers to spare?

"Try again next time."
"Work harder next time."

Next time? That's what they told me two and a half years ago, but nothing's changed. I've pored over this subject and loss hair over it; which amounted to nothing.

And yes, despite being the first class RB still has B3 and B4 Additional Math students. So, don't be so quick to jump to a conclusion, madame. I'm a B3 student - help me, don't pull me down morally. Class monitors aren't a class above other students in academics. We're just students. And not necessarily the brightest students. Don't just pick on me.

I am angry at myself, most of all.


Debate training took my mind off most things and also my 1.9km-in-10:16min jog in under the threatening sky. As I did my warm downs, I looked up to the skies as if for solutions and a mist-thin drizzle fell. Despite that, I couldn't help but squat down on the pavement and watch the drops hit and merge with the puddles on the ground.

- It's not cheaper, dude.. especially for me.
- What do you have in mind?

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Because Yi Wen can't drive.

Go to:
Put your name in, and generate slogan after each question.
Tag 20 people including me.

1. What do you say to yourself every morning?
If you want to get ahead, get Yi Wen.

2. What do you want other people to say about you?
Yi Wen with the less fattening centres.

3. Someone asked you out, your answer is...
There's more than one way to eat a Yi Wen.

4. I don't know what 4 is.
The Yi Wen of Champions.

5. How would you introduce yourself to someone you really like?
The Yi Wen of your life.

6. To someone you dislike?
Bet you can't eat Yi Wen.

7. You're in a conversation and you suddenly feel the need to pee, how would you excuse yourself?
Gonna be a while? Grab a Yi Wen.

8. Your parents ask you why you got home late, you say...
Uh oh, better get Yi Wen.

9. You're failing a subject, you say...
Exceedingly Good Yi Wen.

10. The love of your life asks you to marry him/her, what do you say?
Do you, uh, Yi Wen?

11. Your bf/gf is breaking up with you, you tell him/her...
You'll never put a better bit of Yi Wen on your knife.

12. Someone told you you're an asshole, you tell them...
It could be Yi Wen.

13. What are the best words to describe you?
Oh, hungry? Oh, Yi Wen.

14. If you're going to have a movie about your life, the title is...
Yi Wen: The Other White Meat.

15. Your last words before you die...
Watch out. There's a Yi Wen about.

16. Your message to a special someone..
Reach out and touch Yi Wen.

17. Title of this post will be...
Because Yi Wen can't drive.

Just something I found interesting. :)
Tagged: Sum, Weng Hong, Sok Wai, Yee San, Kay Lynn, Joshua, Yukana, KJ

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Masking & Demasking

In view of the current A(H1N1) virus that is silently but surely inching nearer to ACS, please...


Don't jeopardize the health (and possibly, lives) of others.

Oh yeah, and PRAY HARD.

Crazy gastric attack the whole day. When will this perpetual problem leave?

- I won't change either. You change to DiGi. The Yellow Man is calling you! D-campus for you will be cheaper for both of us?
- Keychain maybe? Your Chinese name! Haha.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Cheers to Orange for Problems

1 week. Too many things.

Sum has left. Pretty late I know and my whole blogosphere of schoolmates have ranted about it. So, Sumsum, I guess I've penned and typed so much to you that I think anymore words aren't necessary here. And we still keep in close contact. ;) Bon voyage and remember...

...I'm coming in 2011're kicking out your roomie for me're gonna belanja my first Sarawakian meal and play host more motorbike ride
...LETTERS for me! enlarge area and reduce pressure change to DiGi
...our accident-filled dancing
...that I will owe you heat rub drink more H2O(g)! LOL.
...I'm not a burger're a great friend, right-hand deskmate, all-night SMS-er and I truly appreciate you a lot!

Take care. Miss you loads.

P/S: I'm still finding a way to do up our seashells! XD

Recyclethon was a success and ACS is once again heralded as a record breaker. Cheers!

Oh yes, we won the inter-house basketball competition for the Sports Carnival. It was mainly Ing Ing's effort as she scored all the goals. Surprise, surprise.

And I managed to clinch third place for the essay writing competition for English Week - Going Green. :)

On debate, I was called for the auditions for entry into the Form 6 team for the Sathya Sai Baba Human Values Debate. I was given the topic "This house believes that rich countries should help poor countries." Honestly, I've no idea what I was crapping there for 2 minutes. And yes, I couldn't understand Ms. Foo's long rebuttal. Yew Tuck had to leave but wasn't allowed, so he sneaked out with me when I left and we burst out laughing. Haha. I do hope to make it in as a speaker.

After pondering upon Ms. Chang's essay topic: Advances in technology are making us prisoners of progress, I finally understood exactly what she deeply meant. I realised that her brain's pretty complex with many ideas branching out from ideas. And boy, it sure is deep. I had an enjoyable time digging my mind and brainstorming for valid points and *lightbulb!* the thought of nuclear warfare came up. Although war is negative and depressing, I really enjoy reading about it especially on WWII. I guess this is the first R&D session I enjoyed. Cheers to that. :)

With my newfound knowledge of basic Chinese characters, I may start blogging in Chinese soon! Haha.

We listen and help. What are we for?

Thanks, Weng Hong, for the encouraging SMS. I could hug you at that moment. ;) Wish I had a problem defoliant. I'm turning green. Gotta slap myself into sense.
Related Posts with Thumbnails