Thursday, July 30, 2009

Burnt Coffee Beans

I publicly admit: I'm slacking!

Please someone, whack me into shape and sense.

Have I burnt out already? I'm very afraid to burn out like I did in Form 5. It's too early. I need that 4As id I want to make it to UK or The Land of the Rising Sun. Fighting!

Need coffee.


I may be able to hop back into the debating phase again! I've missed it tremendously. The friendship and the tense moments - all part and parcel of it.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Tagged by Sok Wai

40 Things About Yourself. Be honest no matter what.
If i tag you, you have to do one! Tag back the friend who tagged you so he/she can read what you have written!

1. Have you ever been asked out?
Yup.

2. Where was your default picture taken?
Default picture? Not sure whether it's the same pic we're talking about. So it's either McD Drive Thru or Pangkor.

3. What's your middle name?
None.

4. Your current relationship status?
Single.

5. Does your crush like you back?
That's not for me to know.

6. What is your current mood?
Feeling like throwing chairs.

7. What color of underwear are you wearing?
Is 'forgot' a valid answer?

8. What color shirt are you wearing?
White.

9. Missing something?
Good sleep and being driven.

10. If you could go back in time and change something, what would you do?
I'd start badminton earlier. I'd work harder.

11. If you must be an animal for one day, what?
A dodo. Stupid bird. No. A Siberian tiger that's not in the zoo. :)

12. Ever had a near death experience?
Almost got knocked down by a huge bus in primary school.

13. Something you do a lot?
Overthink.

14. The song stuck in your head?
Softer To Me by Relient K.

15. Who did you copy and paste this from?
Sok Wai's blog.

16. Name someone with the same birthday as you?
King Charles III of France.

17. When was the last time you cried?
.

18. Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
Yes. As a kid in church!

19. If you could have one super power what would it be?
Photographic memory.

20. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Height.

21. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Only been there once.

22. What's your biggest secret?
Not to be shared.

23. Favorite color?
Blue.

24. Do you still watch kiddie movies?
Nope.

25. What's on your walls?
My baby picture.

26. What are you?
A Homo sapien.

27. Do you speak any other languages?
English, Malay. A little Cantonese enough for survival.

28. What's your favorite smell?
My pillow. Morning air.

29. Describe your life in one word.
Insane.

30. Have you ever kissed in the rain?
No.

31. What are you thinking about right now?
This question.

33. What should you be doing?
Homework.

34. Who was the last person that made you upset/angry?
One of the last person to message me.

35. How often do u talk to God?
Almost everyday.

36. Do you like working in the yard?
Anything outdoors is great.

37. If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?
'Lim' is good as it is.

38. Do you act differently around the person you like?
No.

39. What is your natural hair color?
Black.

40. Who was the last person to make you cry?
.

I tag:
Those on my link list.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Yearns for heaven. Secretly.

Many things occurred this week and I can only exhale loudly and thank God the week is almost over.

I thank God for the CF High Praise last Friday which I rededicated my life again to Jesus. 'Rededicate again' is grammatically wrong because to 'rededicate' is to dedicate again. But in this context, it is correct because I have had my life rededicated to Christ but I strayed away and then, returned. So praise God for that and I pray that transformation of my life will happen daily.

On an impulse, I made Not-So-Sinful Double Chocolate Chip Brownies for school on Monday. They turned out dry because the egg I used was too small.

Chocolate melting over a water bath. YUM.

The Happy Smiling Brownie

After being accepted on board The Voyager as crew, I've been more than ready to get to work even at small tasks like mopping the deck. But now, I'm now the one to take the wheel and steer the ship which will be a challenging task indeed. I foresee storms and huge waves ahead but our ship is strong and with my navigator Weng Hong and his compass, we can sail through! Hopefully I'll do a good job or else there'll be a mutiny on board!

Taking to Sok Wai's example, I resigned from being an exco of the badminton club. What a relief! Friday spelt ill news for me as I was appointed Prayer Director of CF. This was the post (alongside Games Director) which I said 'no' to during the interview. There is no peace in my heart and I know my capabilities. How can I encourage others to pray when my prayer life is lukewarm? Hypocritical. I'd rather not have a post than do something I find no joy in or something I am incapable of.

***

People are complex creatures and I can never understand them. I'm greatly affected by the actions of people around me these past week. People take two stands - tell you that it's good, tell another "It sucks!". Sometimes, people don't pick up the words you say correctly and misintepret it and get all riled up and defensive. And most of the time, I feel like throwing chairs. But all the time, I keep it in. Seethe, seethe. What a bitter person I'm becoming.

Thought: Quitting is losing without trying.


Ten green bottles hanging on the wall,
Ten green bottles hanging on the wall,
And if one green bottle should accidentally fall,
There'll be nine green bottles hanging on the wall.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

I Want to Ride a Motorbike!

I can't wipe that smile of my face.

My wish to ride pillion on a motorcycle has finally been granted! It's pretty scary actually. I kept thinking of Physics while on the bike. Especially Newton's First Law of Motion.

"A body persists its state of rest or of uniform motion unless acted upon by an external unbalanced force."

I feel like my body was going to fly backwards off the bike when it just begins to accelerate.

And when we go at corners and roundabouts, I felt like I could just touch the ground already and my knees and calves are going to be skinned raw!

When we went over bumps, due to my (light) weight, I think I jumped off the seat! Any higher and you could probably start calculating projectiles. So, I held on to the back of the bike for dear life. I think I could have crushed that piece of metal.

But, it was enjoyable too and my "chauffer" was being extra careful (I think) by keeping the speed well below 60 kmh!

That's one pin in the bowling lane knocked down. ;)

P/S: Terima kasih banyak-banyak, En. Sum.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Contemptuous

Put yourself in the shoes of others before you shout.

You may have experienced it before, but, I haven't. So, don't raise hell about the way I deal with it and don't have to tell the whole world. By the way, it's my issue, so you don't have to deal with it for me. Thank you very much.

It's stupid you say right? Well, I act stupid and I like it.

Live with it.

Argh. I get emo and seethe silently real quickly these few days.

Yes, I'm pissed now.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

No Touch & Go

Attending MYF in church has become a weekly chore as the drawing factor - friends - is no more there. The only reason I do go is to spur my brother on and to teach drums at 5. CY9 has split into nothing and I'm floating. Yes, floating. I can't find wholesome worship here because of various reasons.

Just like the weeks before, I was incredibly lazy to go to MYF today and the cold weather compelled me even more to skip it, but, I didn't.

And one small part of it was good. CY9 was resurrected for a week with only three members - Jason, myself and a newcomer from the Philippines, Ee Ern Low.

I'm always apprehensive about talking to newcomers or silent oldies at MYF to make them feel welcome. I hate the idea of bringing up the weather and asking typical how-are-you's. So, I was surprised when Ee Ern said through MSN that I was by far the friendliest person in MYF! I'm not reputed to be the socialite there. But, I did find my chat with 17-year-old Ee Ern very enjoyable indeed. I learnt much more about international education in Philippines and we share loads of interests in common, like sports, physics and our apparent dislike for biology! It's really too bad that he's going back soon but with technology, I'm sure keeping in touch is no problem!

This little new meeting really brightened up my day.



Sometimes the drums need to stay silent too.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Pleasant Shockers

Speech Day was a bore with the speeches dragging on for ages. Venisri, Navin and I desperately wanted to leave and grab a bite only to be nagged by Ms Chong. Hmph.

I was expecting to receive prizes for 9As in SPM and the incentive prize from the PTA for History only. But two pleasant surprises awaited me: I was also the Best Student in English and English for Science & Technology (EST) award recipient! I thought this was impossible especially with essay genius Ee Xin and one B-grade in EST.

But, praise be to God! He knew the most opportune time to bless. With these four prizes, I scooped up RM 95 from the school! PTL.

Of course, nothing can beat my deskmate who is the best student in MGS's SPM 2008. Congratulations!

***

15 hours of good sleep. Beat that!

Friday, July 10, 2009

Tesla Coil Zap

It's Serbian-American inventor and electrical engineer Nikola Tesla's birthday as most of you Googlers might know. Thanks to him we can produce alternating current (AC) and not live our nights in darkness!

It's Speech Day tomorrow in MGS and I'm dreading it.

What are you doing now?
Where are you studying?
How is it?
Why didn't you apply for scholarships?
What do you plan to do after this?


The oh-so-famous forwarded questions. I should just wear a placard bearing all the answers to the queries.

And I'm not in the mood for socialising either. And there's this detachment from my former alma mater.

I'd rather attend Boys' Brigade.

***

KC Leong managed to pull me on a guilt trip today. He's pretty psychic.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Idiocy At Its Best

The Deputy Prime Minister Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin announced today in Putrajaya that the policy of teaching science and mathematics in English in both primary and secondary schools will be scrapped. The two subjects will be taught in Malay in national schools and Chinese or Tamil in vernacular schools.

This will come into effect in 2012.

Form 6 and Matriculation will not be affected.

"This decision is not political, we made the decision not for political mileage. What is Manek Urai compared to the future of our children."
-Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin

Apparently, students had not shown significant improvement in the two subjects. Of course. The policy had only been around for a mere 6 years.

A survey by the independant Merdeka Center showed that 58% of 1060 voters interviewed supported the policy. Yeah, a government for the rakyat.

The measures to be taken:
-Recruit 14000 new English language teachers (There are more than 30000 English teachers currently)
-Lesson duration for English language would will be doubled for lower primary students to 120 minutes a week, from 90 minutes to 120 minutes a week for upper primary students and from 200 minutes to 280 minutes a week for secondary students.

This is idiocy at its very best.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Complex Thoughts

Inferiority complex.

"A feeling that you are not 'up to the mark' or that some how you just don't cut the mustard."

It's just something that I feel from day to day. And no, it's not psychologically severe to the extend of schizotypal personality disorder.

With people around me who can solve math questions in record time, it is a struggle. (Not that I don't appreciate you guys. I really do.)

While they were whistling away, I was worrying whether I'll be kicked to the second class because of my [poor] SPM results. It's easy to tell me to ask them for help, but, the paiseh feeling sets in and I can't be asking questions all the time. After all, they are learning too.

There's also the high expectation for my performance in MUET, which I am doubting too.

What KC Leong said the other day got me feeling guilty. Got me thinking too.

***

Too much unnecessary thoughts. Exhaustive.
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