Sunday, December 13, 2009


I'm dead tired and all I want is a good night's rest. Been stretching my limits for youth camp games and praise & worship. Really, the planning for games is CRAZY. Phew. We actually spent 2 hours in church and another 2 hours in Woolley, consecutively till 12am discussing the games. Spent another 4 in church today. We're done; just a little techie stuff to get through. Praise & worship is a whole new story though (my first time leading worship in CGMC!). I wish I had my BB Christmas Celebration peeps with me.

Shtoopid shoulder has been acting up again. Hurts. Wish I could go for some back twisting Thai massage or see a doctor. I'm just gonna depend on my Counterpain or heat patches for the time being. =/

I want to throw all I've got on the drums; play some hebat song. Hillsong United's I Heart Revolution's "What the World Will Never Take". That'll do. Ah. Reminds me of the International Youth Rally.

Anyway, I haven't packed, haven't done up a prop for the night games. And I've gotta wake up at 7:30 tomorrow. Awesome.

'Cos when the going gets tough, the tough get going.
When the going gets rough, the tough get rough.

Easy Virtue 2008

ARRR, Yi Wen! Fighting!

Now that you all are back, I really miss those dinosaur years we spent together. Sigh. Come back more often, and visit the lone Ipoh person!

Friday, December 11, 2009

Food & Adventure. What a Combo!

As soon as I left Penang, I went there again; this time to visit Ah Ma and Yeh Yeh. It was peculiar without KJ and the car felt so empty. This was a makan-filled trip!

We started off with Mom's favourite Tuo Pan which is actually fried sa hor fun with vermicelli in gravy. It's specialty? The fiery sambal belacan! Half-full, we headed to Chai Leng Park's Wai Sek Kai which is something like Ipoh's Tong Sui Kai. There's a variety of food here; from laksa to lok lok to ice-kacang with atapchee and even kuay kak.

I even got to meet Kee Lin (I don't know how's it spelt) - a cousin from Australia whom I've met once 8 years ago. (I do think prognathism runs in our family genes.)

The following day, we had Ah Ma's Hokkien-style dishes like homegrown veggies, stir-fried in chillies and heh bi to give it a belacan-like taste; and also herbal longan soup. We hopped over to the island for a dose of shopping. I managed to purchase a pair of RM 200 Lee Cooper slim jeans for a mere RM 60 at a warehouse sale in Queensbay Mall! Even Converse was selling for extremely discounted prices. We saved Sakae for our next trip to Penang with KJ after Christmas. :)

We popped over to Island Glades for laksa but it wasn't open, so we headed for Air Itam but there was none. But we managed to get a glimpse of the newly erected Kuan Yin in Kek Lok Si from afar. It was huge!

As a last resort, we went to Gurney Drive for food! We saw a man catching chia hu by the sea. The four of us had 4 bowls of laksa, 1 bowl of Koay Teow Th'ng, 2 ice-kacangs, 1 Mua Chee, 1 plate Chee Cheong Fun, 1 small plate of rojak, and 1 coconut. WOW.

Dad drove through town and I savoured the sights of old Penang - from Millionaires' Lane to Chulia Street. Despite passing through these streets many times, the architecture never fails to amaze me and although Penang is soaked in manic development, there's still this old feel to it. Pretty nostalgic. Pre-war shophouses producing rattan, Peranakan town houses with ancestral altars at their doors. It really makes me feel like going back-packing with a DLSR and KJ, of course.

Back at Ah Ma's, Dad took out some ancient photographs of our ancestors; some all the way from China. Looking at them makes me swell with pride because of our rich Baba-Nyonya heritage. Nyonyas in kebayas, complete with traditional headgear and beaded shoes; and Babas in crisp white suits and neat combed hair. He even procured a life-like portrait he did of his Grandpa Sim when he was slightly over 7. Ah Ma even kept Dad's drawing books - How to Draw Heads, Landscapes and even perspectives. They are now in my possesion!

The greatest highlight of this trip happened when we were on our way back to Ipoh. After leaving the Bukit Gantang R&R for quite a distance, Dad realised our car was overheating. Unfortunately, there was a massive jam due to roadworks, so we were forced to pull over by the side. Sean and I tracked back a distance to find a PLUS SOS phone but it was another 250m away so we just took down the PLUSLINE number. A pipe had burst and we needed either a temporary sealant or a new pipe. PLUS wasn't much help and the sky was getting dark. It began to rain but it wasn't safe to stay in the car, in case a speeding car crashes into our stationary one. So we waited under umbrellas. Save for the lights of the passing cars and the occasional streak of lightning. It was really cold.

After 3 hours, our hero, in the form of Uncle Albert the Mechanic, came all the way from Ipoh to the rescue! It was pouring and he risked his life to replace the burst pipe (remember the speeding cars?). However, he couldn't fix the clip due to the heavy rain so we drove on to the Sg. Perak R&R, where he fixed it. Praise God for him! It was all done and we reached home safely at 12am after a BKT dinner, about 6 hours since the breakdown. Thank God!

As soon as we reached home, we found out our water tank had leaked!

Perfect epitome of 'sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga'. What a day!

Sunday, December 6, 2009


Penang. I was a bit "HMM" about going to Penang for an outing because I always go there but turns out, it was a trip to remember.

I must say that I was AWESTRUCK by the Penang War Museum in Batu Maung. It was an unbelievable thing to just be there; I think my mouth just hung open in awe. It was the highlight of the trip especially for a war history fanatic like me! (Here's where Ee Ern goes, "You're so manly!" LOL) But because I'm still gushing crazily over the 20 acre British stronghold. I'll blog about it in a separate post. :)

The photo hunt in the Youth Park was immensely fun as it was great bonding time with my group members, namely, Wen Jun (or Dai Lou), Venisri, Sarah, Wai Hong, Thong Seng, Tan XYZ and a big guy. We tried climbing vines, snapping ass shots, levitating, hanging upside down and getting macro shots. Contributing to the fun was the sudden rain that had us running helter-skelter to our bus. We were soaked to the skin!

Dinner at New World Park was really fun, especially when Sarah, Wen Jun and I got pretty high and started singing to the music that was played and went down to the arena pretending to be rock stars! XD And also singing my favourite With Christ in the Vessel.

I couldn't help but reminisce all the fun times I had in Stella Maris in Youth Camp 2007 especially with my group - Autobots.

You've gotta STOP, DROP and ROLL!
Till the lights go out, till the lights go out. (hands showing blinking movements)
You've gotta STOP, DROP and ROLL!
To the beach, to the beach. (rolling waves motion with hands in the beach's direction)
You've gotta STOP, DROP and ROLL!
In the church, in the church. (hands clasped together in prayer)
You've gotta STOP, DROP and ROLL!
Say what? (hands to ears)
Ok! ("ok" hand signal)
and again

a-u-t-o-b-o-t-s, a-u-t-o-b-o-t-s, a-u-t-o-b-o-t-s (chanting while getting into position)

A-U-T-O-B-O-T-S! Represent.

It was an AWESOME cheer.

The Toy Museum was sad to say, poorly maintained and the toys were covered with dust as the shelf casings weren't properly done up. At the Cocoa Boutique, we managed to snag several bits of expensive chocolates. I loved the coffee ground-filled dark chocolate! The seafood dinner at How Kee in Bukit Tambun was superb and definitely much better than previously.

On the way back, us, primers, indulged in some heavy chatting and quizzed the guys - Bubu and Hong - about their preferences. Haha. It was great.

I miss it all.

Saturday, November 28, 2009


With Christ in the vessel, we can smile at the storm,
Smile at the storm, smile at the storm.
With Christ in the vessel, we can smile at the storm,
As we go sailing home.

So simple yet powerful! It's message parallels my motto Bible verse from Philippians 4:13 which says "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." Hence, with Christ in my vessel, I'm sure I'll emerge victorious from my treacherous voyage.

I'm a happy creature, well, I prefer to smile than to mope over things, which, I believe, is due to the very presence of God in my life. There is a difference between JOY and HAPPINESS, from what I've learnt throughout my years in KIDS School. JOY isn't an emotion unlike HAPPINESS, which is temporary, but, it is something profound and keeps you smiling despite fierce storms in life. This JOY that I have is certainly from Him alone. JOY that I have eternal life in God. Makes me want to break out into song!

There is joy, joy, joy, in the presence of the Lord,
Singing hallelujah, amen!
There is joy, joy, joy, in the presence of the Lord,
Singing hallelujah, amen!

Because of this, I choose to stay positive amidst the adversities, be they minor or otherwise. :) And surely, refrain from all sorts of emo-ness! Anyway, why stay emo when you smile out sunshine and.. rainbows(?)

It's exciting how I'm progressing with the bugle! It's the first wind instrument I'm learning to play after the... recorder! But that doesn't count, because I only knew how to play Mary had a Little Lamb in staccatos. Mr. Lt. Wong Chee Khoon, who DIY-learnt to play, is my SIFU. It's pretty interesting to see his face tomato up blowing the bugle. (Forgive me, sir! XP) Today, I was fortunate to be able to be taught by Mr. Eddy Khoo who was a bugler in his long gone BB days. His lungs work like powerful wind generators! I managed to learn note progressions in a breath and tonguing. It's not as easy as it seems - summoning air from your diaphragm, lip control. Wind instruments are a little gross. You can't help but sputter potentially corrosive amylase-filled fluid into the brass body. Percussions are way more sanitised! But I do hope to be able to play several calls for meetings before our term in Primers ends!

*Lights Out Bugle Call* ;)

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


First, I decided that I should do sports physiotherapy. Naturally, you were elated at my career choice. Then I realised that my focus in this field was wrong. I only wanted to tour with sports teams. I could never visualise myself in geriatrics. You were upset.

I decided hospitality and hotel management would be my choice since it wasn't so academic. You said no. You'd never know what kind of people you meet in that line. I vehemently insisted that you'd meet unscrupulous people anywhere. But you still said no.

Fine. Decision change to something more academic; the way you like it. Architecture - science and art combo. You were okay initially, then you changed your mind. Long working hours, deadline stress etc. I tried to show you my interest in construction so you relented a little. But I still knew you wanted me in the medical field.

Now, here I am in Form 6, after a series of failed scholarship applications, producing thrashy results worthy of a garbage dump. Maybe I'm not trying hard enough to work my way through this bloody system. Maybe I'm unhappy, but that's no reason to flunk math and get a CGPA that screams alerts like a heart monitor fixed to racing horse. Or maybe, as I've said, I'm just a naturally-born idiot. I'm not happy with the rotten results, the stupid way things tend to go.

And then you say now: What about journalism? Mass communication? Wait. Weren't you the one who pushed me towards science and all this biology stuff? All your expectations seemed to direct me to the medical field or banking. It was just this strong vibe you gave me. But I'd be living your life, not mine.

Thus, you posed me a dilemma: to leave and splurge a large sum in private institutions for a professional course or stay and face high posibilities of failure in Form 6.

But will I be able to leave? The many things I've built for myself now seems like shacks built on sandy ground. Can I let go of the task of producing a school magazine, of pushing the brigade to greater heights? It seems cowardly; running and shirking from challenges. But at the same time, it sounds sensible; leaving a sinking boat for a sturdy ship.

I see my UK, Japan and all overseas dreams evaporating into thin air.

And I'm good, good, good to go
I got to get away
Get away from all of my mistakes

So here I sit looking at the traffic lights
The red extinguishes the hope that the green ignites
I want to run away I want to ditch my life
Cause all of my mistakes keep me awake at night


It just now hit me this is more than just a set back
And when you spelled it out, well, I guess I didn't get that
And every trace of momentum is gone
And this isn't turning out the way I want


And I spent all last night
Tearing down
Every stoplight
And stop sign in this town
Now I think there might
Be no way to stop me now
I'll get away despite
The fact I'm so weighed down

All of my escapes have been exhausted
I thought I had a way but then I lost it
And my resistance was once much stronger
And I know I can't go on like this much longer

I just gotta stop running and catch my breath. God I need You.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Caveman's Way

Form 6 schooling has brought a plague of strange ill health upon me. Last month I had funky nausea spells for one week. Severe gastric attacks and stomach cramps prevented me from straightening up till I gave up avoiding the doctor. Doc's advice: Keep away from spicy, sour and oily food. And that's exactly what I did although I'm a spicy-sour food junkie. I stuck to a healthy diet; fruit and fibre cereal with milk every morning, wholemeal bread, no sour food and less spicy food. I realised that my general well-being improved. I don't feel so sleepy in class and I felt good. But, gastric struck again last week despite eating full and regular meals, and nausea is back. So, I popped by the clinic. Diagnosis? Probably some gut discomfort. :( Tomorrow's the Campers' Badge Camp and right now, my intestines are in knots. Thank God modern toilets are available! Otherwise it'll be the 'use-spade-dig-hole-do-it-like-a-caveman' method. Eew.

Health, Health, how I treasure thee!
Pray, do come back to me!

Hm. Been pondering. Are there such things as naturally-born geniuses and naturally-born idiots? Or is it just a matter of tapping into the 'genius gene' in our subconscious minds? Either, that 'genius gene' of mine hasn't been tapped or I'm just a naturally-born idiot.

Anyway, hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to camp I go! Excited. Reminds me of my scouting days. :) But, I'm having problem packing. Haha.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Quick Bite: Zucchini & Aubergine Spaghetti with Sausage

I usually have beef Spaghetti Bolognaise from the basic ingredients - beef, tomatoes, onions, tomato puree and spaghetti. But, it takes time to cook. So what could be better when a faster option is presented to a hungry after-school student?

Mom and I chanced upon instant pasta sauce by Barilla that comes with zucchini and aubergines. Most pasta sauces are usually pure mush but this one comes with small chunks of veggies, so, it is a healthier option although a little pricey at RM 11.90. Well, it's cheating but, it's fast and tastes good, so I'm fine. :)

Here's a simple recipe that any non-cooking fan would be able to follow:

Firstly, break spaghetti strands and boil them in water till soft. Add some salt and oil to the water. It takes a while for it to soften so start with it first.

Chop some onions and tomatoes (optional). Cube the sausages. You could use minced chicken, beef or whatever that suits your palate.

Saute the onions and when it smells fragrant, throw in the rest and add several tablespoons of Barilla Zucchini & Aubergine according to need. Mix well.

By this time, your pasta should be cooked. But that depends on your rate of work. So, test it first. If it's soft, drain the water out. Then, throw the pasta into the sauce and mix well.

Optional: You could add some mixed herbs or oregano for extra taste. (You can get them easily from supermarkets.) Use sparingly. Top off with cheese.

And there you have it...

Zucchini & Aubergine Spaghetti with Sausage!

You could also have the sauce with toasted bread or anything else suitable you can think of. :)

The Lazy Chef

Up next: Baechu Kimchi and Kimchi Jiggae!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Forget & Not Slow Down

"...Cause I could spend my life just trying to sift through
What I could've done better but what good do what ifs do
Oh oh
Oh oh
There's something I should tell you now

I'd rather forget and not slow down
Than gather regret for the things I can't change now
If I become what I can't accept
Resurrect the saint from within the wretch
Pour over me and wash my hands of it..."

Forget and Not Slow Down (2009)
Relient K

It’s hard to forget and move on emotionally, but sometimes it’s better for you. You have to keep the bigger picture in mind. If you’re feeling sorry for yourself or reflecting on things that aren’t good, you’re not being productive. So to move forward is to concentrate on ‘What can I do better?’
-Matt Thiessen, Relient K vocalist

It’s about learning from mistakes and not just focusing on all the things you wished you would’ve done differently. Everyone has those things. What’s important is the knowledge that when you make a mistake, your life is not over.
-Matt Hoopes, Relient K guitarist

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Crash Dummy

The moment I glanced at the rearview mirror after stopping, I knew it wasn't going to be good. The motorcycle was going faster than it should have. The motorcyclist's expression changed to a shocked one all of a sudden.

"Oh s***."

I braced myself and turned around just in time to see the motorcyclist crash head-on into my rear windscreen. It rained glass on Mom and the seats.

"Turn on the hazard lights."

I saw a bloody mess behind my car. The first thing I thought of was the bill. The rider was raining blood from his head, soaked. Flesh hung from his left nostril. His glasses lost in the crash. The pillion rider had flesh ripped off his arm. His eyes popped wide open when he saw his raw chicken-like flesh exposed and cursed aloud.

I called 999 and dispatch was so slow. So were the cops. Damn. The rider was babbling incoherently and going into shock. I shouted at them.

Passerbys began to stop, watch. A Good Samaritan - an Indian woman aided the two boys to the sidewalk and gave them water. I continued to call 999. A young couple with a black BMW offered to send the boys to the hospital since even the ambulance's sirens were not heard. Mom went along as well.

Dad came not long after and so did Aunty Page, Dr Chang and Samuel Hong. Tow truckers hung about like vultures over a carcass. The cops came and eased the traffic but we had to wait for 2 hours for the crash investigation officers to analyse the scene. A fight almost ensued between the rowdy tow trucker and Aunty Page. The cops did not intervene.

The officers arrived and analysed the scene and snapped photographs.

We got home and took our car insurance to make a police report. The glass was jingling all the way home. There was blood, flesh and hair stuck on my car.

I spent hours at the station. Giving a written statement and then a question-and-answer statement. I was mentally and physically exhausted from the long hours. 4 hours had passed since the crash. It didn't help that the sergeant was bullying me verbally and trying to play the guilt card.

Despite this, I have to thank God. It could have been a car instead of a bike. But it wasn't. Mom could've been injured. It could've happen at a worse time (eg. I'm alone at night).A few weeks before this, I kept seeing myself getting involved in an accident whereby I would be severely injured. I would then keep thinking, what if it happened? What would I do first? Because of this, I was rather calm throughout this whole incident. And that suprised me. Dad also woke up at 5 am that morning and had a sudden urge to pray for our safety. And he did. I believe it was the Holy Spirit's prompting. The images I saw probably were to prepare me mentally for this while Dad's prayer surely did protect Mom, Sean and I from bodily harm. Thank God.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Thanks and French

Things haven't been looking up since the debates were over. But at least there were several things that took my mind off matters.

I've several overdue thanks.

1. Thank you, 6RB and friends for the celebration and all the effort. Thanks for the new racquet (which I know is not cheap). It meant a lot to me (though I didn't cry) since my Finnex was stolen. And for the great cake.

2. Thank you, Mom and Dad for the present you gave. Although I insisted my broken watch was good enough, you guys still insisted. And I'm not superstitious.

3. Thank you, Venisri for the mug and the LOVELY card. Haha. Yes, I'm legal.

4. Thank you, Sok Wai and Yee San for the Chinese dictionary. I'm sure it's gonna help me in my writing a lot!

5. Thanks people for the cards, the wishes and the SMS-es.

6. Thank you, Adelyn for listening to me rant about faith and for your counsel.

7. Thank you, Ee Ern for Skype-ing to try to cheer me up and for all your interesting ways to make people feel better. You had me laughing with 'ee means "good" ern means "cook"' and confusing Louvre with toilet. Must have jumbled up all the French you were studying. Haha.

Je ne penssais pas que c'était possible d'etre amie avec quelq'un que je recontre pour un jour.

"Well meeting someone for so short and being able to click well sounds like a movie."

Monday, September 21, 2009

We All Need A Lil Debate :)

Debate: My passion, drug.

As mentioned, I participated in the Sathya Sai Baba Human Values Debate recently. We, Naomi, Sarah, Venisri and I, first started public speaking training under Ms. Foo on alternate days along the walkway near the undergrounds. It was tedious and we were really shy at the beginning to do all those seemingly ridiculous 7-second "Ahh's" and "Ehh's". But we realised that our lungs grew stronger as we could hold for longer periods and our voices were certainly much louder!

It was decided that the order of speakers would be I, as first speaker, Naomi as second and Sarah as third. And not to forget our darling reserve, Venisri, who breathe-coached us and kept us emotionally stable.

The Preliminaries: Community Service Should be Mandatory for College and University Students
Olympia vs. ACS

We, in team opposition are not convinced that community service should be mandatory for college and university students because such an approach would contradict, undermine and even negate the basic principles and objectives of community service and any benefits achieved would be merely superficial and cosmetic.
1. The principle of free will
2. The principle of 'no expectations of remunerations' for service rendered

The Olympians seemed calm and composed but they only spoke for a total of 12 minutes for the whole team! They did not prepare at all. While the adjudicators were out, this Datin spoke up and started criticising the ACS speakers. I couldn't help but stand up and defend my team. An informal debate ensued and I heard someone shout at me, "Respect your elders!" But we beat the Datin till she sat down quietly after that. :)

We won!

The Semis: The Sole Purpose of Education is to Earn a Livelihood
Politeknik Ungku Omar vs. ACS

We, in team opposition are not convinced that the sole purpose of education is to earn a livelihood because such a belief is simplistic, myopic and restrictive and it does not do justice to the holistic aim of education.
1. The purpose of education as agreed upon by the member states of UNESCO in Article 29(1) under The Convention of the Rights of the Child.
- development of a child's personality, talents and mental and physical abilities
- development of values and beliefs
- preparation of the child for responsible life in a free society
2. The purpose of education as derived from Socratic thought.
- self-knowledge
- individual moral good
- skill in thinking

The motion fell and into the semis we went! I like the chief adjudicator, a lawyer, Mr. Arthur Yong. :)

Finals: Liberty Should be Sacrificed to Promote Security
ACS vs. Institut Perguruan Ipoh

We, in team proposition believe that liberty should be sacrificed to promote security because in doing this, with wholesome restraint, we are actually ensuring our freedom and also the right to act within what the law permits.
1. Economic security which was affected when heavy deregulation and free market was encouraged in the US.
2. Child security from pornography etc.

This debate was almost unethical as personal insults were thrown at the proposition. How unprofessional. It was theatrical, almost like a joke, making a mockery out of debate. You never see this in the World Schools Debate. It just showed how screwed up the Malaysian debating scene is. The Toastmasters were the judges and they barely gave second thoughts to content. We lost although I thought we nailed it after the reply speech. Real injustice in a human values debate.

Oh. Big fumble of the day! Naomi talked about UTOPIA and the opposition said, "Why are we talking about ETHIOPIA? Are you saying that the people in ETHIOPIA are not cultured?" To which all the Institut supporters cheered. Holy macaroni. These people are gonna be teachers.

It was an immensely painful loss. And yes, I'd like to give myself some liberty to "jump over chairs and start killing people". But I'm extremely grateful for the friends I've made and bonded with - especially Venisri and Foofy. XD Haha. Sarah and Naomi were equally awesome. ;)

This is what I love most about debate. I miss hanging out in the Voyager Room and at the walkway outside the library, the excitement, the trainings, the crazy tricks we played on one another, the meals together. Great times. The best of Form 6 I guess.

Monday, September 7, 2009

To My Karjie

We grew up together all our lives.

While I was still a small fry, she played with me.

Then as I grew, we played together. I remember blowing bubbles in the porch, playing General Bucket and all our weird games like Rolli Polli. We'd spend hours on Saturday afternoon, washing our school shoes in the porch. While doing that, we'd play with soap and water till our skin turned wrinkly. Sometimes we'd play with our dolls or masak-masak the whole weekend. There was no such thing as homework on weekends then.

I even began to be able to bully her back. :)

But when she stepped into Standard 6, she didn't want to play dolls with me anymore although I kept bugging her. As a kid, I didn't understand why and I got pretty mad at her. Then she got into her emo phase in life so we weren't that close anymore. But, I guess it was after that youth camp in Chefoo that brought us closer again. Thank God.


My one and only


Heh. Musical talent evident from childhood :)

I miss our late-night talks, head-butting you, our itadakimasu & McD sessions, our Rapid exploration in Penang and your weirdness as well (Beeeee!).

Take care, study hard and enjoy in HK!


Pooh. Shit mood now. Don't get me wrong. The day was awesome. Going online makes me emo.

The Sathya Sai Baba Human Values Debate is tomorrow already! I'm going to be the first speaker and also doing the reply speech. I'm extremely nervous but excited. We're up against Olympia College and they are... old. But we, the all-girl team of ACS are out to kick some butts! XP

Friday, August 28, 2009

Missing & Presumed Dead

Due to blogging mood shifts, I've barely updated. I'm an extremist, I guess; one moment updating everyday and the next moment, fingers don't tap the keys.

Well, the week before holidays could've been considered as a wreck week. Besides getting very colourful exam results, I tasted a bitter pill of ACS.

My badminton racquet was stolen during the closed tournament. It wasn't any racquet. It was my first personal racquet from my dad since I stepped into court 4 years ago. It was a bronze Finnex Nano Titanium 630, made of titanium graphite and HM graphite, weighing a mere 82g. I asked Sean where did this new racquet came from and he said he went with Dad to stadium and bumped into Lin Dan. Of course, I didn't swallow this unbelievable statement. Eventually, I realised it was a gift for my birthday and I was delighted after realising it was my OWN. It could tell it wasn't cheap, so, for Dad to spend such money, I took it as a form of encouragement from him to train hard and ace tournaments.

I used it for every tournament I was in. I won, I lost. But the racquet remained my prized possession and I took great care of it, making sure the grip wasn't slippery and checking the guard. I trained hard with it. The sound of the frame slicing through the air and the sound of the shuttle hit by the sweet spot were music to my ears. However, after I broke the strings once due to high tension, the remaining tension in the broken strings pulled its frame inwards, resulting in a crack in the frame. I was pretty upset, but it seemed like it was nicer to use after the formation of the crack.

But, now, my love affair has ended as my Finnex is screaming "Help me!" in a new (unrightful) owner's badminton bag.

I believe it was stolen while I was umpiring a women's singles match. Halfway through, I saw a quick flash, like a vision, of my racquet lying atop my bag. There was a nagging feeling that I should go and check on my racquet. Although I pushed it aside, the feeling persisted. But I didn't want to leave my job halfway so, I ignored it. And surprise, surprise, the racquet is gone.

The MYC badminton tourney was my first without my Finnex. It was.. different.

I miss that loud "pow!" when i execute a smash and the soft and delicate "ping" while playing at the net. Wherever you are, my Finnex, come running back to me or just crack your head so the evil new owner will never enjoy your sweet strokes!

When I Go Down

I'll tell you flat out
It hurts so much to think of this
So from my thoughts I will exclude
The very thing that
I hate more than everything is
The way I'm powerless
To dictate my own moods

I've thrown away
So many things that could've been much more
And I just pray
My problems go away if they're ignored
But that's not the way it works
No that's not the way it works

When I go down
I go down hard
And I take everything I've learned
And teach myself some disregard
When I go down
It hurts to hit the bottom
And of the things that got me there
I think, if only I had fought them

If and when I can
Clear myself of this clouded mind
I'll watch myself settle down
Into a place where
Peace can search me out and find
That I'm so ready to be found

I've thrown away
The hope I had in friendships
I've thrown away
So many things that could have been much more
I've thrown away
The secret to find an end to this
And I just pray
My problems go away if they're ignored
But that's not the way it works
No that's not the way it works

Any control I thought I had just slips right through my hands
While my ever-present conscience shakes its head and reprimands me
Reprimands me
Then and there
I confess
I'll blame all this on my selfishness
Yet you love me
And that consumes me
And I'll stand up again
And do so willingly

You give me hope, and hope it gives me life
You touch my heavy heart, and when you do you make it light
As I exhale I hear your voice
And I answer you, though I hardly make a noise
And from my lips the words I choose to say
Seem pathetic, but it's fallen man's praise
Because I love you
Oh God, I love you
And life is now worth living
If only because of you
And when they say that I'm dead and gone
It won't be further from the truth

When I go down
I lift my eyes to you
I won't look very far
Cause you'll be there
With open arms
To lift me up again
To lift me up again

When I Go Down
Relient K

To know that every tear I cry is precious in His eyes gives me comfort.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Self-Directed Anger

I wanted to put a bullet into my brain today.

Years of struggling with mathematics and yet I see no improvement. The ghosts of my past experiences with this devilish subject has come back to haunt me once again and this time, somehow it feels like the are here to stay. Private tutoring just for PMR, two Additional Mathematics tuitions. What next? Be gone, creatures of darkness!

Sympathy? No, I don't need any of it. Have you actually experienced so many failures before that you can count your meagre passes with fingers of a hand and still have fingers to spare?

"Try again next time."
"Work harder next time."

Next time? That's what they told me two and a half years ago, but nothing's changed. I've pored over this subject and loss hair over it; which amounted to nothing.

And yes, despite being the first class RB still has B3 and B4 Additional Math students. So, don't be so quick to jump to a conclusion, madame. I'm a B3 student - help me, don't pull me down morally. Class monitors aren't a class above other students in academics. We're just students. And not necessarily the brightest students. Don't just pick on me.

I am angry at myself, most of all.


Debate training took my mind off most things and also my 1.9km-in-10:16min jog in under the threatening sky. As I did my warm downs, I looked up to the skies as if for solutions and a mist-thin drizzle fell. Despite that, I couldn't help but squat down on the pavement and watch the drops hit and merge with the puddles on the ground.

- It's not cheaper, dude.. especially for me.
- What do you have in mind?

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Because Yi Wen can't drive.

Go to:
Put your name in, and generate slogan after each question.
Tag 20 people including me.

1. What do you say to yourself every morning?
If you want to get ahead, get Yi Wen.

2. What do you want other people to say about you?
Yi Wen with the less fattening centres.

3. Someone asked you out, your answer is...
There's more than one way to eat a Yi Wen.

4. I don't know what 4 is.
The Yi Wen of Champions.

5. How would you introduce yourself to someone you really like?
The Yi Wen of your life.

6. To someone you dislike?
Bet you can't eat Yi Wen.

7. You're in a conversation and you suddenly feel the need to pee, how would you excuse yourself?
Gonna be a while? Grab a Yi Wen.

8. Your parents ask you why you got home late, you say...
Uh oh, better get Yi Wen.

9. You're failing a subject, you say...
Exceedingly Good Yi Wen.

10. The love of your life asks you to marry him/her, what do you say?
Do you, uh, Yi Wen?

11. Your bf/gf is breaking up with you, you tell him/her...
You'll never put a better bit of Yi Wen on your knife.

12. Someone told you you're an asshole, you tell them...
It could be Yi Wen.

13. What are the best words to describe you?
Oh, hungry? Oh, Yi Wen.

14. If you're going to have a movie about your life, the title is...
Yi Wen: The Other White Meat.

15. Your last words before you die...
Watch out. There's a Yi Wen about.

16. Your message to a special someone..
Reach out and touch Yi Wen.

17. Title of this post will be...
Because Yi Wen can't drive.

Just something I found interesting. :)
Tagged: Sum, Weng Hong, Sok Wai, Yee San, Kay Lynn, Joshua, Yukana, KJ

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Masking & Demasking

In view of the current A(H1N1) virus that is silently but surely inching nearer to ACS, please...


Don't jeopardize the health (and possibly, lives) of others.

Oh yeah, and PRAY HARD.

Crazy gastric attack the whole day. When will this perpetual problem leave?

- I won't change either. You change to DiGi. The Yellow Man is calling you! D-campus for you will be cheaper for both of us?
- Keychain maybe? Your Chinese name! Haha.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Cheers to Orange for Problems

1 week. Too many things.

Sum has left. Pretty late I know and my whole blogosphere of schoolmates have ranted about it. So, Sumsum, I guess I've penned and typed so much to you that I think anymore words aren't necessary here. And we still keep in close contact. ;) Bon voyage and remember...

...I'm coming in 2011're kicking out your roomie for me're gonna belanja my first Sarawakian meal and play host more motorbike ride
...LETTERS for me! enlarge area and reduce pressure change to DiGi
...our accident-filled dancing
...that I will owe you heat rub drink more H2O(g)! LOL.
...I'm not a burger're a great friend, right-hand deskmate, all-night SMS-er and I truly appreciate you a lot!

Take care. Miss you loads.

P/S: I'm still finding a way to do up our seashells! XD

Recyclethon was a success and ACS is once again heralded as a record breaker. Cheers!

Oh yes, we won the inter-house basketball competition for the Sports Carnival. It was mainly Ing Ing's effort as she scored all the goals. Surprise, surprise.

And I managed to clinch third place for the essay writing competition for English Week - Going Green. :)

On debate, I was called for the auditions for entry into the Form 6 team for the Sathya Sai Baba Human Values Debate. I was given the topic "This house believes that rich countries should help poor countries." Honestly, I've no idea what I was crapping there for 2 minutes. And yes, I couldn't understand Ms. Foo's long rebuttal. Yew Tuck had to leave but wasn't allowed, so he sneaked out with me when I left and we burst out laughing. Haha. I do hope to make it in as a speaker.

After pondering upon Ms. Chang's essay topic: Advances in technology are making us prisoners of progress, I finally understood exactly what she deeply meant. I realised that her brain's pretty complex with many ideas branching out from ideas. And boy, it sure is deep. I had an enjoyable time digging my mind and brainstorming for valid points and *lightbulb!* the thought of nuclear warfare came up. Although war is negative and depressing, I really enjoy reading about it especially on WWII. I guess this is the first R&D session I enjoyed. Cheers to that. :)

With my newfound knowledge of basic Chinese characters, I may start blogging in Chinese soon! Haha.

We listen and help. What are we for?

Thanks, Weng Hong, for the encouraging SMS. I could hug you at that moment. ;) Wish I had a problem defoliant. I'm turning green. Gotta slap myself into sense.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Burnt Coffee Beans

I publicly admit: I'm slacking!

Please someone, whack me into shape and sense.

Have I burnt out already? I'm very afraid to burn out like I did in Form 5. It's too early. I need that 4As id I want to make it to UK or The Land of the Rising Sun. Fighting!

Need coffee.

I may be able to hop back into the debating phase again! I've missed it tremendously. The friendship and the tense moments - all part and parcel of it.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Tagged by Sok Wai

40 Things About Yourself. Be honest no matter what.
If i tag you, you have to do one! Tag back the friend who tagged you so he/she can read what you have written!

1. Have you ever been asked out?

2. Where was your default picture taken?
Default picture? Not sure whether it's the same pic we're talking about. So it's either McD Drive Thru or Pangkor.

3. What's your middle name?

4. Your current relationship status?

5. Does your crush like you back?
That's not for me to know.

6. What is your current mood?
Feeling like throwing chairs.

7. What color of underwear are you wearing?
Is 'forgot' a valid answer?

8. What color shirt are you wearing?

9. Missing something?
Good sleep and being driven.

10. If you could go back in time and change something, what would you do?
I'd start badminton earlier. I'd work harder.

11. If you must be an animal for one day, what?
A dodo. Stupid bird. No. A Siberian tiger that's not in the zoo. :)

12. Ever had a near death experience?
Almost got knocked down by a huge bus in primary school.

13. Something you do a lot?

14. The song stuck in your head?
Softer To Me by Relient K.

15. Who did you copy and paste this from?
Sok Wai's blog.

16. Name someone with the same birthday as you?
King Charles III of France.

17. When was the last time you cried?

18. Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
Yes. As a kid in church!

19. If you could have one super power what would it be?
Photographic memory.

20. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

21. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Only been there once.

22. What's your biggest secret?
Not to be shared.

23. Favorite color?

24. Do you still watch kiddie movies?

25. What's on your walls?
My baby picture.

26. What are you?
A Homo sapien.

27. Do you speak any other languages?
English, Malay. A little Cantonese enough for survival.

28. What's your favorite smell?
My pillow. Morning air.

29. Describe your life in one word.

30. Have you ever kissed in the rain?

31. What are you thinking about right now?
This question.

33. What should you be doing?

34. Who was the last person that made you upset/angry?
One of the last person to message me.

35. How often do u talk to God?
Almost everyday.

36. Do you like working in the yard?
Anything outdoors is great.

37. If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?
'Lim' is good as it is.

38. Do you act differently around the person you like?

39. What is your natural hair color?

40. Who was the last person to make you cry?

I tag:
Those on my link list.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Yearns for heaven. Secretly.

Many things occurred this week and I can only exhale loudly and thank God the week is almost over.

I thank God for the CF High Praise last Friday which I rededicated my life again to Jesus. 'Rededicate again' is grammatically wrong because to 'rededicate' is to dedicate again. But in this context, it is correct because I have had my life rededicated to Christ but I strayed away and then, returned. So praise God for that and I pray that transformation of my life will happen daily.

On an impulse, I made Not-So-Sinful Double Chocolate Chip Brownies for school on Monday. They turned out dry because the egg I used was too small.

Chocolate melting over a water bath. YUM.

The Happy Smiling Brownie

After being accepted on board The Voyager as crew, I've been more than ready to get to work even at small tasks like mopping the deck. But now, I'm now the one to take the wheel and steer the ship which will be a challenging task indeed. I foresee storms and huge waves ahead but our ship is strong and with my navigator Weng Hong and his compass, we can sail through! Hopefully I'll do a good job or else there'll be a mutiny on board!

Taking to Sok Wai's example, I resigned from being an exco of the badminton club. What a relief! Friday spelt ill news for me as I was appointed Prayer Director of CF. This was the post (alongside Games Director) which I said 'no' to during the interview. There is no peace in my heart and I know my capabilities. How can I encourage others to pray when my prayer life is lukewarm? Hypocritical. I'd rather not have a post than do something I find no joy in or something I am incapable of.


People are complex creatures and I can never understand them. I'm greatly affected by the actions of people around me these past week. People take two stands - tell you that it's good, tell another "It sucks!". Sometimes, people don't pick up the words you say correctly and misintepret it and get all riled up and defensive. And most of the time, I feel like throwing chairs. But all the time, I keep it in. Seethe, seethe. What a bitter person I'm becoming.

Thought: Quitting is losing without trying.

Ten green bottles hanging on the wall,
Ten green bottles hanging on the wall,
And if one green bottle should accidentally fall,
There'll be nine green bottles hanging on the wall.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

I Want to Ride a Motorbike!

I can't wipe that smile of my face.

My wish to ride pillion on a motorcycle has finally been granted! It's pretty scary actually. I kept thinking of Physics while on the bike. Especially Newton's First Law of Motion.

"A body persists its state of rest or of uniform motion unless acted upon by an external unbalanced force."

I feel like my body was going to fly backwards off the bike when it just begins to accelerate.

And when we go at corners and roundabouts, I felt like I could just touch the ground already and my knees and calves are going to be skinned raw!

When we went over bumps, due to my (light) weight, I think I jumped off the seat! Any higher and you could probably start calculating projectiles. So, I held on to the back of the bike for dear life. I think I could have crushed that piece of metal.

But, it was enjoyable too and my "chauffer" was being extra careful (I think) by keeping the speed well below 60 kmh!

That's one pin in the bowling lane knocked down. ;)

P/S: Terima kasih banyak-banyak, En. Sum.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009


Put yourself in the shoes of others before you shout.

You may have experienced it before, but, I haven't. So, don't raise hell about the way I deal with it and don't have to tell the whole world. By the way, it's my issue, so you don't have to deal with it for me. Thank you very much.

It's stupid you say right? Well, I act stupid and I like it.

Live with it.

Argh. I get emo and seethe silently real quickly these few days.

Yes, I'm pissed now.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

No Touch & Go

Attending MYF in church has become a weekly chore as the drawing factor - friends - is no more there. The only reason I do go is to spur my brother on and to teach drums at 5. CY9 has split into nothing and I'm floating. Yes, floating. I can't find wholesome worship here because of various reasons.

Just like the weeks before, I was incredibly lazy to go to MYF today and the cold weather compelled me even more to skip it, but, I didn't.

And one small part of it was good. CY9 was resurrected for a week with only three members - Jason, myself and a newcomer from the Philippines, Ee Ern Low.

I'm always apprehensive about talking to newcomers or silent oldies at MYF to make them feel welcome. I hate the idea of bringing up the weather and asking typical how-are-you's. So, I was surprised when Ee Ern said through MSN that I was by far the friendliest person in MYF! I'm not reputed to be the socialite there. But, I did find my chat with 17-year-old Ee Ern very enjoyable indeed. I learnt much more about international education in Philippines and we share loads of interests in common, like sports, physics and our apparent dislike for biology! It's really too bad that he's going back soon but with technology, I'm sure keeping in touch is no problem!

This little new meeting really brightened up my day.

Sometimes the drums need to stay silent too.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Pleasant Shockers

Speech Day was a bore with the speeches dragging on for ages. Venisri, Navin and I desperately wanted to leave and grab a bite only to be nagged by Ms Chong. Hmph.

I was expecting to receive prizes for 9As in SPM and the incentive prize from the PTA for History only. But two pleasant surprises awaited me: I was also the Best Student in English and English for Science & Technology (EST) award recipient! I thought this was impossible especially with essay genius Ee Xin and one B-grade in EST.

But, praise be to God! He knew the most opportune time to bless. With these four prizes, I scooped up RM 95 from the school! PTL.

Of course, nothing can beat my deskmate who is the best student in MGS's SPM 2008. Congratulations!


15 hours of good sleep. Beat that!

Friday, July 10, 2009

Tesla Coil Zap

It's Serbian-American inventor and electrical engineer Nikola Tesla's birthday as most of you Googlers might know. Thanks to him we can produce alternating current (AC) and not live our nights in darkness!

It's Speech Day tomorrow in MGS and I'm dreading it.

What are you doing now?
Where are you studying?
How is it?
Why didn't you apply for scholarships?
What do you plan to do after this?

The oh-so-famous forwarded questions. I should just wear a placard bearing all the answers to the queries.

And I'm not in the mood for socialising either. And there's this detachment from my former alma mater.

I'd rather attend Boys' Brigade.


KC Leong managed to pull me on a guilt trip today. He's pretty psychic.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Idiocy At Its Best

The Deputy Prime Minister Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin announced today in Putrajaya that the policy of teaching science and mathematics in English in both primary and secondary schools will be scrapped. The two subjects will be taught in Malay in national schools and Chinese or Tamil in vernacular schools.

This will come into effect in 2012.

Form 6 and Matriculation will not be affected.

"This decision is not political, we made the decision not for political mileage. What is Manek Urai compared to the future of our children."
-Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin

Apparently, students had not shown significant improvement in the two subjects. Of course. The policy had only been around for a mere 6 years.

A survey by the independant Merdeka Center showed that 58% of 1060 voters interviewed supported the policy. Yeah, a government for the rakyat.

The measures to be taken:
-Recruit 14000 new English language teachers (There are more than 30000 English teachers currently)
-Lesson duration for English language would will be doubled for lower primary students to 120 minutes a week, from 90 minutes to 120 minutes a week for upper primary students and from 200 minutes to 280 minutes a week for secondary students.

This is idiocy at its very best.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Complex Thoughts

Inferiority complex.

"A feeling that you are not 'up to the mark' or that some how you just don't cut the mustard."

It's just something that I feel from day to day. And no, it's not psychologically severe to the extend of schizotypal personality disorder.

With people around me who can solve math questions in record time, it is a struggle. (Not that I don't appreciate you guys. I really do.)

While they were whistling away, I was worrying whether I'll be kicked to the second class because of my [poor] SPM results. It's easy to tell me to ask them for help, but, the paiseh feeling sets in and I can't be asking questions all the time. After all, they are learning too.

There's also the high expectation for my performance in MUET, which I am doubting too.

What KC Leong said the other day got me feeling guilty. Got me thinking too.


Too much unnecessary thoughts. Exhaustive.

Monday, June 29, 2009

What A Letter Day

Two letters in a day.

One was from the Japan Information Service of the Embassy of Japan. The long-awaited news.

As expected, I failed to step to the next qualifying round because of the written examination. No, worries. I'm going to try again next year and the following year. If I can't get to UK, I'm going to Japan. Cheers to Hope!

The second letter was from God-knows-who. It's a chain mail like those forwards you get online ending with "If you don't send this...". This letter is a photostat copy, asking me to pray to the Mother of Perpetual Help, saying the letter is blessed by St. Jude and asking me to make 28 copies and send it out withing 7 days. And, heck, I'm not even Catholic.

Nevermind about that. But the scary part is "WHO SENT IT?" There's no return address and certainly no signature. The writing of my name and address looks vaguely familiar but it doesn't ring any bells. How on Earth did the sender get my address? That is the mystery.


BGR [Boy-Girl Relationships]. A funny topic, enough to make me laugh and choke on my food. Raging hormones. Ha-ha.


P/S: Better not be real. And thumbtacks on the board don't prove a thing! Haha. Must run fast!
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